So Young and so Much Pain...

Three years ago, my parents’ friend invited us to stay at her beautiful farm in Portugal for the summer. She has lived in France for almost her whole life, and is married to a French guy and had 2 girls with him. One is my age and the other is 3 years older. Their names are Olivia and Alexandra. They don't speak Spanish, well the oldest one knows a little bit.

We got to Portugal and the girl that was my age had invited 4 friends too. None of them spoke Spanish or English so it was completely impossible to be able to communicate and socialize with them. Since Olivia knew a little bit, my sister and I spent the whole summer with her. We watched movies and TV shows all day long. 

I was 13 years old back then, and one night, our parents had gone out for dinner and we decided to watch another movie, this time with the other girls too. The film was called “Virgin Suicides” in which one of the main characters was Kirsten Dunst. 

The movie was old and it was about 5 sisters whose parents were very religious and strict. As time passes by each of the girls one by one takes their lives away.

I was in shock with this film. I was only 13 years old and yes, I had heard about suicide but never put much thought to it. I never thought kids our age, like Brent Runyon who was only 14 when he tried to kill himself, were capable of committing such a horrible thing as suicide.

When my parents got back to the farm after dinner, we were still watching the movie. They sat the last few minutes that were left and watched it with us, but somewhat they were really mad with the girls for making us watch such a horrible movie. I never understood why my parents got so mad. But now that I’m reading the “Burn Journals” I understand their feelings at that time. It must be horrible to know that after so many years of raising a child and giving them so much love, they are capable of throwing all that away in just one day.